Why Hasn’t He Kissed You Yet? 7 Reasons He’s Holding Back
So you’ve gone out on a few dates with an amazing guy, seemingly made a meaningful connection, and have even enjoyed a good laugh or two. And yet, here we are in 2025, and he still hasn’t leaned in for that first kiss. You might be asking yourself questions like, “What’s going on?” and “Did I do something weird that’s turning him off?” Before you let your frustrations put a premature end to this budding relationship, let’s explore some of the possible reasons why he’s hesitant to kiss you.
1. He’s Got Cold Feet
It might be that he really does want to kiss you, but he’s worried about ruining the moment. The first kiss is just as big of a deal to him as it is for you. After all, it signifies that he wants the relationship to get more serious. But even if he appears confident on the surface, he might be nervous about how you’ll respond. If you sense that he’s anxious, give him reassurances by maintaining eye contact, leaning in when you talk, and smiling when he looks at your lips. These gestures provide a clue that you’re ready for that kiss.
2. He’s Unsure How You Feel
You’re dropping all sorts of hints that you want him to kiss you, and yet he still isn’t entirely certain. The last thing he wants is to make a move and discover that he misread your signals. Rejection sucks, and not everybody is willing to risk it. Let’s also remember that we live in a world where there is greater awareness of consent and boundaries. If this sounds like your situation, you should just straight up tell him you like him a lot and put an end to any ambiguity.
3. He’s Waiting for the Perfect Moment
You might be perfectly content with a quick smooch after a pleasant dinner, but here’s the thing: some guys watch way too many romcoms, leaving them convinced that a first kiss should only happen under very specific circumstances, like at sunset, under fairy lights, or during a spontaneous rain shower. So if it feels like he’s delaying things too long, there’s a very good chance that it has nothing to do with you but rather the high expectations for the setting. But the good news is, all it might take to finally get that kiss is a flirty comment or gentle touch to clue him in that the right moment has already arrived.
4. He Doesn’t Want to Rush Things
Contrary to popular opinion, not every guy who likes you wants to kiss you immediately. Much like the ladies, there are plenty of men out there who want to take time to build trust and figure out where the girl wants to go in this relationship. It has nothing to do with him not being interested, it’s about respect for you and deliberately pacing himself. Some hints that he’s into you include having deep conversations, shared values, and seeming to really be in tune with each others’ emotions. Just go with it. Since he clearly wants to spend a lot of time with you, there’s good reason to believe he’s in it for the long term.
5. He’s Dealing with Personal Baggage
Life often gets in the way of things, and this can have an effect on a guy’s dating life. If he’s acting distant or riding a wave of emotions, it could be that he’s got a nightmare of a boss, drama in the family, or he’s still coming to terms with a painful recent breakup. These are personal things that he might not feel comfortable discussing with someone he hardly knows. For this reason, it’s important to show patience and understanding. If the relationship is meant to be, the kiss will come when he’s emotionally ready.
6. There Might Be Other Girls
This one might be tough to swallow, but you can’t rule out the possibility that you aren’t the only girl he’s dating. If he’s passed on multiple opportunities to kiss you, it could be that he’s trying to figure out how he feels about you. Or he’s weighing his options. He doesn’t want to lead you on, which is noble of him because it’s better than being kissed only to have him ghost you. If you feel something is wrong and are okay with asking him where he stands, do it.
7. He Doesn’t Want to Ruin Friendship
If you were friends before giving dating a try, your past history together might be making him extra cautious. The fear of ruining what’s been a meaningful bond is enough to make him think twice about getting involved with you romantically. If these concerns are on your mind as well, it is best to be honest and open about it. Dating a previously platonic friend can be a risky proposition, but the risk is easier to handle when you know where you both stand.