How to Move On From Someone You Can’t Be With (3 of 3)
4. Consider Therapy
If you’re struggling to cope, seeking help from a therapist can be a transformative step in your healing process. A professional therapist provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your emotions and understand the underlying reasons for your attachment. They can help you identify patterns in your thoughts and behaviors that might be holding you back, while equipping you with practical tools and strategies to navigate your feelings effectively.
Therapy is particularly beneficial if you’re experiencing overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or difficulty focusing on other aspects of your life. A trained professional can guide you in reframing your thoughts, managing emotional triggers, and building healthy coping mechanisms. They can also help you gain clarity about your own needs and desires, empowering you to create a more fulfilling and balanced life.
Additionally, therapy isn’t just about addressing the pain of unrequited love; it’s also an opportunity for personal growth. You might discover deeper insights into your relationship patterns or learn how to set healthier boundaries in the future. Ultimately, therapy offers the support you need to move forward with greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.
5. Focus on the Present
Dwelling on the past can keep you trapped in a cycle of longing and regret. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor emeritus at the University of Massachusetts who spent decades teaching the value of mindfulness, suggests that focusing on the present moment is a powerful antidote to emotional distress. By grounding yourself in the here and now, you can find joy and fulfillment even amidst heartache.
One way to shift your focus is to engage in activities that bring you pleasure or purpose. Whether it’s taking a cooking class, volunteering, or exploring new hobbies, these experiences can provide a sense of accomplishment and distract you from ruminating on the past. Goal-setting is another effective strategy. Identify short-term and long-term objectives that excite you and channel your energy into achieving them.
Connecting with loved ones can also anchor you in the present. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you. According to the late psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson, healthy relationships with friends and family can act as a buffer during times of emotional pain, reminding you of the love and connection that still exist in your life.
Finally, practice gratitude to reinforce a positive outlook. Keeping a journal of things you’re thankful for—even small moments—can shift your mindset and help you appreciate the beauty of the present. As Kabat-Zinn often says, “The only moment you ever truly have is this one.” Embracing that truth allows you to let go of the past and move toward a brighter future.
It’s important to recognize that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. By taking the suggestions of these experts to heart, you will learn to move on and find the happiness you deserve.