DIY Relationship Help: 7 Therapist-Backed Tips for Couples (4 of 5)

Use time-outs without abandonment

Pressing pause isn’t necessarily stonewalling if you set agreeable terms. Agree on a phrase and honor it, like ”I need a 20-minute break, and I’ll come back at 7:45.” During this break, soothe your body by walking, breathing, or splashing your face with cold water, instead of mentally rehearsing the argument. Return when your heart rate is down and restate the goal of solving the problem together. This prevents blowups and models emotional regulation, one of the most underrated couples therapy tips for partners.

If your partner isn’t ready for counseling, then go solo

You don’t need two signatures to start a positive change. If your partner is hesitant to begin therapy and you feel it is really important to get started, consider an individual session to get the tools, language, and perspective you need. You can also invite low-pressure experiments, like trying a check-in for two weeks, before revisiting the idea of therapy together. Emphasize benefits like better communication or fewer fights, rather than placing blame. Many therapists recommend this as a compassionate path forward when one partner is more unsure.