DIY Relationship Help: 7 Therapist-Backed Tips for Couples (3 of 5)

Aim for the 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio

Decades of research suggest that happy couples rack up about five positive interactions for every negative one during conflict. That doesn’t mean fake cheerfulness. It means weaving in warmth. Phrases like, “I see your point,” “Thanks for flagging this,” can go a long way. You could even offer a smile or a light touch, even if you disagree. Track your ratio for one week and nudge it upwards with small, genuine positives. This is among the most reliable relationship therapy tips because it changes the emotional climate in which disagreements happen.

Trade mind-reading for micro-requests

“Please put your dish in the sink after lunch,” will land a lot better than “Why do you never help?” Specific, doable requests give your partner something to say yes to and keep conversations outcome-focused. Try a daily “one ask, one offer” ritual: each of you makes one clear request and offers one concept act of help. This turns vague disappointment into collaborative problem-solving and is a form of relationship help you can implement in minutes.