Lifestyle
(Edited: )

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Neglect: A Guide for Strong Women (3 of 3)

Fear of Disappointing Others

Boundaries are often viewed as synonymous with being selfish. The idea of letting someone down can feel almost unbearable for many women, so we just say yes and deal with the consequences of agreeing to something that doesn’t feel right for us. This fear of rejection keeps us looped into a nasty cycle of people-pleasing, which can eventually erode our own well-being.

How to break out of the vicious circle?

Healing this behavior of self-neglect doesn’t happen overnight. It’s small, intentional choices that will be the deciding factor in reshaping your story. Here are a few small, actionable steps you can take towards shifting the narrative of your life:

  • Acknowledge the Pattern. Ask yourself honestly: What am I seeking when I choose to overextend myself? Is it that I’m seeking approval or a sense of control? Am I looking for belonging? Awareness is one of the first steps to changing a learned behavior.
  • Redefine What Worth Looks Life. Your value is and was never tied to your output. It is not measured in the meals you cook or the number of favors you agree to. Your worthiness is intrinsic, and you are more than enough without having to prove it to anyone. Start affirming ideas like this, and you will begin to see a small but daily shift until it all truly begins to sink in.
  • Learn to Receive. Allow others to show up for you the way that you have shown up for everyone else in your life. This could look like receiving a compliment, assigning someone else a difficult task, or leaning on a close friend during rough times. Receiving is not about weakness. It creates true balance and is the beginning of creating more reciprocity in your life.
  • Set Boundaries, and Give Yourself Grace. Boundaries are not a means of rejection. They are more so declarations of your own self-respect. And when someone views healthy boundaries as negative, it can be a good indicator that this person may not be a healthy individual to have in your life.