After Scraping Tape Off My Windows for 4 Hours, I Got the Most Glorious Revenge on My Nosy Neighbor (2 of 3)

“SHOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN MY SPOT :)”

That’s when I knew.
Barry.
Retired mailman. Lives across the street. Lawn always trimmed like a golf course. Watches the neighborhood like he’s still getting paid to patrol it.

Here’s the thing. I parked in “his” spot one time. ONE TIME. The guy doesn’t even own a second car. His wife left him and took the Prius. But suddenly that strip of curb is sacred?

So I spent the morning—four hours, to be exact—cutting and peeling and scraping glue off my windows with a debit card. And somewhere between muttering curse words and losing a patch of arm hair to industrial-grade adhesive, I started to smile.

Because I had a plan.

It started that night.

At 2:00 AM, I snuck over to Barry’s front lawn with a flashlight, a bag of artisanal grass seed, and my buddy Kevin’s battery-powered lawn edger. I cut a perfect rectangle—six feet long, two feet wide—dead center of his pristine front yard.

Then, using a stencil I’d made from cardboard and pure rage, I seeded the word “JERK” into the soil.

I knew it would take a week to germinate.
I also knew Barry mowed every Saturday at 9:00 AM.

Sure enough, by the next weekend, my living art piece had bloomed in uneven green glory. Passersby slowed down. A jogger took a picture. Someone rang his doorbell and asked what it meant.

Barry came over fuming, holding a clump of grass like it was evidence in a trial.