Her Hair Took Over My Airplane Seat. My Revenge Was Petty… and Delicious (2 of 3)

And then, with all the grace of a sleepy toddler, she plopped down in front of me.

I didn’t even have time to buckle my seatbelt before it happened.

Her hair.

All of it.

Spilling straight over the top of her seat and cascading down like a golden waterfall—right onto my tray table.

I blinked. Maybe she’d pull it back. Maybe she’d realize and laugh awkwardly, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” like a normal person. But no. She popped in her earbuds, slouched deep into her seat, and started scrolling TikTok like my tray table was her personal salon station.

I waited. Five minutes. Ten. I cleared my throat. Loudly. No response. So I tapped the top of her seat gently. Nothing. That hair. It was everywhere. Draped over my water bottle. Brushing the edge of my book. Floating into my pretzels. I could feel my eye twitch.

Now, listen—I’m a reasonable woman. But I’m also a mother of three and a preschool teacher. Which means I know a thing or two about boundaries… and creative consequences.

So I reached into my tote bag and pulled out a small pack of travel-sized peanut butter crackers. (You know the kind. Crumbly. Sticky. The ones that survive nuclear fallout.) I took one. Carefully split it in half. And then I ever so gently placed it on her hair. Not in a mean way. No smushing. Just… nestled it there. Like a tiny snack tray resting peacefully in platinum locks. Then I opened another. And another. Four crackers in, the guy next to me was shaking with silent laughter. I couldn’t look at him or I’d lose it.

Eventually, the plane began its descent. The girl stirred. Sat up. And as she did—Crackers. Everywhere. One tumbled into her lap. Another clung to her shoulder. A piece stuck to her sweater. She reached back, confused, brushing at her hair like it had personally betrayed her. She turned to look behind her.

I smiled.