My Neighbor Always Likes To Hang Her Panties Right In Front Of My Son’s Window. Let’s See How She Likes This (2 of 2)

At first, I thought it was some kind of laundry-day coincidence. But no. Every few days, like clockwork, there they were — flapping in the breeze like some risqué flag of defiance.

I tried to handle it the adult way. I casually mentioned to Cheryl, “Hey, maybe you could hang your laundry a little farther down the line? My son’s room is right there.” She just smiled and said, “Oh, it’s the sunniest spot. Things dry faster here.”

That’s when I decided she needed to learn a lesson.

The opportunity came one breezy Saturday afternoon. Cheryl had gone out, leaving a fresh batch of her finest lingerie on display. I grabbed my own laundry basket and went to work. But instead of shirts and towels, I hung up the most ridiculous things I could find in the attic: an old Halloween costume (giant chicken suit), a pair of comically oversized bloomers I bought as a joke gift years ago, and — my personal favorite — a bra big enough to fit a beach ball.

I made sure my “display” took up every inch of clothesline space between our yards. When the wind caught them, they spun like a carnival ride of absurdity.

By the time Cheryl got home, the sight stopped her in her tracks. She stood there, jaw tight, scanning the feathered chicken legs dangling in front of my son’s window. I just waved cheerfully and said, “Sunniest spot, right?”

She didn’t say a word. But the next laundry day, her panties were gone from that line. Replaced with — get this — actual towels and T-shirts. My son’s blinds have been wide open ever since.

Look, I’m not saying my method was mature. But sometimes the only way to deal with passive-aggressive behavior is to respond with a little harmless absurdity of your own. Besides, the chicken suit deserved a public moment.

And now, whenever I see Cheryl at the mailbox, she gives me this tight little smile, like we share some weird secret neither of us will ever bring up again. I can live with that.