Me or the Dog,’ She Said. His Answer Was Brutal— and Perfect (2 of 3)
But her tone was different this time—sharper, colder. “I can’t live in a house with that smell. I’m tired of the hair, the mess, the constant barking when I’m on a call. I want him gone.”
I sat there, stunned. You don’t just “get rid” of family.
That night, after she went to bed, I stared at Max sleeping peacefully beside the couch. His fur rose and fell with each breath. I remembered the day I brought him home from the shelter—skinny, timid, with a tag that read “unadoptable.” I remembered how he’d followed me from room to room, afraid I’d disappear if he blinked.
So, I made my decision.
The next morning, I went online and posted an ad. But it wasn’t for Max.
AD TITLE: Free to Good Home—Girlfriend
Description:
My 29-year-old girlfriend is beautiful, ambitious, and loves fancy dinners. But she hates dogs. She’s allergic to loyalty, patience, and unconditional love. Prefers evenings scrolling Instagram to walks in the park. Will never greet you at the door like you’re the best part of her day. Not house-trained—leaves emotional messes you’ll have to clean up yourself. Comes with high-maintenance costs and a knack for making ultimatums you didn’t ask for.
Max, on the other hand, is pure joy wrapped in golden fur. He’s been my best friend for 12 years. He doesn’t care if I’m rich or broke, if I’m wearing cologne or three-day-old sweatshirts. All he cares about is that I come home safe.
If you think you can match that, feel free to apply.
I hit “post” and went about my day. By lunchtime, the ad had exploded. Hundreds of comments. Strangers offering to take Max—and “send the girlfriend packing” themselves. People wrote about their own pets, their own ultimatums, their own heartbreak over having to choose.
When she saw it, she was livid. “You embarrassed me in front of everyone,” she snapped. But by then, I’d realized something—anyone who asks you to give up love, loyalty, and a piece of your heart… doesn’t really care about you in the first place.
