She Hung Her Lingerie Outside My Son’s Window—So I Taught Her a Lesson She’ll Never Forget (4 of 4)

“Just airing out some laundry,” I said sweetly. “Didn’t want my ‘crime-fighting gear’ to feel left out.”

She gaped, spluttered, then sighed. “Okay. You win. I’ll move my laundry. Just get this optical assault out of my sight.”

“Deal,” I smiled. “But hey, flamingos really do bring out your eyes.”

Since then, not a single G-string has danced in front of Jake’s window. Lisa never brought it up again, and I never needed to escalate Operation Panty Drop 2.0.

Jake still occasionally asks why the superhero undies aren’t allowed to socialize outside. I tell him sometimes being a hero means knowing when to stay undercover.

And the flamingo panties?

Let’s just say they’ve been repurposed into the most eye-searing curtains you’ve ever seen. Waste not, want not.

And me? I sleep easy knowing peace—and modesty—have been restored to our slice of suburbia.